All the businesses out there on the planet need sales solutions. If there are no sales coming in, there’s no business!
There are a lot of individuals who are interested in learning and mastering sales because they are aware that once they figure out who to sell, they can generate the money with ease.
It’s a very valuable skill to learn in this digital era. You have got to know how to sell stuff online as more and more people have started shopping/making transactions online.
Well, I work in the sales and marketing industry and I never step behind when it comes to offering funny as well as motivational content to people.
With that said, in this post, I’m going to share with you tons of funny sales quotes that will not only add humor to your learning but also motivate and guide you to implement the right things. And yes, the quotes are going to be with an explanation.
Funny Sales Quotes For Motivation & Learning
1. Sales is about speaking. If you speak, you will sell crap and if you don’t, you won’t even sell diamonds for free.
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
Explanation: What this quote is trying to teach you is that whoever speaks in sales, will win the game. You could have the best product ever created but if you don’t know how to speak, you will find a hard time selling that.
2. Don’t find customers for your products, find products for your customers.
– Seth Godin
Explanation: It’s funny how people want to be successful with useless products. People/businesses need to stop doing that and start focusing on valuable products the solve actual problems.
3. Talking isn’t selling and selling isn’t closing.
– Steli Efti
Explanation: Sure, you have to speak and talk to be able to sell but just because you are talking to a customer for hours and hours doesn’t mean you are selling. You have to have a proper system/process in place.
4. Sometimes the most influencial thing we can do is listen.
– Bob Burg
Explanation: It’s correct that salespeople have to sell. But sometimes, instead of persuading someone to buy your amazing product, you can listen to them, understand their problems, build rapport, and you will be able to close without being that sneaky person.
5. Don’t sell the features and the benefits. Sell ideas not stuff.
– Curated Quote
Explanation: People don’t care about the features and benefits you offer them as a company or a salesperson. You have to sell the idea instead of selling the stuff.
6. Salesperson: ‘This laptop is going to cut your workload by 30%.’
Office guy: ‘Wow, fantastic! I’ll take three of them.’
Explanation: A salesperson has to sell in a way that makes people believe that the product is actually going to do everything for them. Convenience should be targeted.
7. Don’t sell. Seduce.
Explanation: Instead of selling people how good your product is, sell them the results they will get by using the product because, at the end of the day, features don’t count. What matters the most to people is – how can the product make their lives easier.
8. If I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesperson, don’t knock it.
– Jarod Kintz
Explanation: A lot of beginners who get into sales don’t tell people what they do for a living because of the wrong images millennials have in mind.
This is totally wrong because some of the best and most renowned entrepreneurs out there on the web are salespeople. If you master sales, you will unlock a way of generating unlimited wealth. Period.
9. If you don’t believe in what you are sellling, neither will your prospect.
– Frank Bettger
Explanation: This is less of a funny and more of an educational quote that teaches people to only choose and sell the products that they believe in. If you don’t believe in what you sell, things are not going to work. It’s a basic rule of sales.
10. While you debated whether the glass is empty or full, I sold it.
Explanation: A good salesperson knows the value of time. He will always make the best use of his time and turn it into another discovered piece of his growth puzzle.
11. Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.
– Jordan Belfort
Explanation: Success doesn’t happen overnight. If you want to become the most affluent salesperson, you have got to work hard for it every single day until your bank account looks like a phone number.
12. Make a customer, not a sale.
– Katherine Barchetti
Explanation: A lot of times, what sales representatives focus on is making a sale but what they actually need to focus on is building a long-term relationship with the customers.
Ultimately, what really matters is the LTV (lifetime value of the customer). You should not give up on the lifetime value of the customer for not-so-important shortcomings.
13. People like to ‘take things home with them’ and not ‘buy.’
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
Explanation: A trained salesperson will never use the word ‘buy’ while selling something. Instead of using the word ‘buy,’ an individual should ask a customer ‘Would you like to this home with you?’
And most of the time, if a representative asks this question, the answer or response from the prospect’s side is going to be positive.
14. Think of yourself as a doctor, rather than a salesperson.
– Mact Wayshak
Explanation: A salesperson is always there to diagnose people’s/prospects’ problems and then come up with the right solution that will help them get over/solve the issue/problem.
15. There is no magic to closing. There are no magic phrases. Closing the deal is completely dependent on the situation.
– Alice Heiman
Explanation: This is so true that there’s is no magic formula that will teach you how to be successful at sales. Most of the time, customers will already make their minds up for purchasing the products before a sales representative arrives. It all depends on the situation.
16. Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.
– Zig Ziglar
Explanation: As a sales guy, you will always have to point out to people that they need the product, that the product is affordable, and that they can trust you. That’s what the sales guy is known for.
17. When you are selling, you are transferring emotions. If your intent is to get money out of customer’s pocket like an idiot, they will sense it.
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
Explanation: Gary Vaynerchuk has been my mentor and he always taught me that selling is about emotions and intent. If your intention is to provide value, people will get to know that and if the story is vice-versa, people will get to know that as well.
18. On any given Monday, I am one sale closer and one idea away from being a millionaire.
– Larry D. Turner
Explanation: How a salesperson is extremely motivated to become a millionaire on Mondays.
19. The prospect said she was interested…called back sixteen times with no answer.
Explanation: Where there is sales, there has to be a deal. A salesperson should always seek customers and keep emotions at home.
20. Just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money!
Explanation: This is how a salesperson should think. An opportunity should be found in every single situation.
21. You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I would wait for it to go on sale!
– Hussein Nishah
22. Whenever I was on the pitch, I always tried to win.
– Michel Patini
Explanation: Here, Michel is relating the pitch in sports and a sales pitch. He is trying to say that whenever he makes a sales pitch, he always tries to close the deal.
23. If plan A fails, the Alphabet has 25 more letters.
– Unknown
Explanation: Life is all about failing and then rising again. If plan A fails, you have a million different plans to work on and turn things in your favor.
24. Timid salesmen have skinny kids.
– Zig Ziglar
Explanation: If a person works in sales, he can’t be timid. If that happens, he isn’t going to earn enough money to even feed his kids and as a result, his kids are going to be skinny.
Sales is always about confidence and fearlessness. You shouldn’t step back in every situation as a salesperson.
25. Customers are like teeth. Ignore them, and they will go away.
– Jerry Flanagan
Explanation: Never ignore your customers. Always try to give them the best possible product and value possible because once they go, they aren’t going to come back.
26. Your customers won’t love your bad service, but the competition will.
Explanation: It’s not just about making the sale. It’s also about providing helpful services and adding consistent value to the customers’ lives. It’s about serving them well.
If you don’t do that, your competitors will take advantage of it and you will start losing the customers at scale.
27. For sale: Toaster. Only used twice, a small scratch.
Explanation: A salesperson can sell anything. Whether that’s a second-hand toaster, a parachute, or an old shoe.
28. A salesman minus enthusiasm is just another clerk.
– Harry F. Banks
Explanation: Sales is a choice. If you become a salesman, you have got to love your job and stay enthusiastic as that’s when you are going to close the maximum number of deals. It’s all about the impression you create and then things follow along from there.
29. The buyer is always tuned in to one radio station: WIIFM (What Is In It For Me?). Everything else is filtered out as noise.
– Steve Woodruff
Explanation: Always let people know what is there for them in the product as that’s what they care for. There is nothing that matters other than that to the consumers.
30. Do billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who’s at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales?
– Ryan Lilly
Explanation: A joke comparing the top billboard charts and billboard salesmen for fun.
31. Sales is an outcome, not a goal.
– Jill Konrath
Explanation: Sales is always the outcome of the conversation you had and the perfect situation you created while discussing with the prospect. It should be the goal. The goal should be value!
32. You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new.
– Steve Jobs
Explanation: Steve Jobs was one of the smartest minds when it comes to sales. He taught that you have to convince people to purchase your product because consumers’ minds aren’t stable. You have got to keep them interested in your products.
33. Don’t bombard your customers with ‘our new amazing products’ as soon as they come to you. Be a human and not a monkey.
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
Explanation: No one likes a snake oil salesperson. Give people some time when they come to you. They know what they are looking for…just help them find what they are looking for instead of telling them about your new offers.
34. You don’t have to be liked to be trusted.
– Keenan
Explanation: Trust is a very expensive thing. It’s above everything else.
35. The only place ‘money’ comes before ‘work’ is in the dictionary.
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
Explanation: If you want to generate money, you have got to work. Whether you are a salesperson, a marketer, or a business person…you have to put in the work to be able to generate the revenue.
36. 90% of selling is conviction, 10% is persuassion.
– Shiv Khera
37. The best salespeople think like clients, not salespeople.
– Brian Burns
Explanation: Put yourself in the customers’ shoes. When you do that, you will be able to make better decisions yourself and help the customers/clients make better decisions as well.
38. My favorite sales book? The Bible. I would improve it. You know how we people are.
– Kare Anderseon
39. The funny things is, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
– Theodore Roosevelt
Explanation: This is very true. People don’t care how much you know, how good your product is, and how good your communication skills are until they figure out whether or not your care about them.
40. Making something out of nothing and then selling it is pure art.
– Frank Zappa
Explanation: If you have watched the movie ‘The Wolf Of Wall Street,’ you must have gotten to know that salesperson can literally sell anything in any situation! Well, that’s what this quote means.
41. The best trick a salesperson can ever pull is to create an illusion of choice to the customers, but the magic lies in making them choose your choice as theirs.
– Shahenshah Hafeez Khan
Explanation: As a salesperson, you have to be extremely charismatic and witty that you can create a hypothetical situation, make customers feel what you feel, and make them think about the product in the same way you feel about it.
42. The biggest mistake a sales representative can ever make is pretend that he is not a sales representative.
– Unknown
Explanation: Many salespeople try reverse psychology and fail miserably. You can’t pretend that you are not a sales guy while being one. It won’t be apt for any situation and you will end up losing customers/chances.
43. Meetings are organized for ‘valuable minutes’ and hours are wasted for those.
– Shivansh Bhannwariya
Explanation: Meetings should be sweet and concise. There is no sense in wasting hours and hours when the essence can be explained in twenty minutes.
44. Ha! Non-salepeople think they will get rich working nine to five!
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
Explanation: Salespeople are looked at with a sight of doubt by many people but the reality is, all the richest people on the planet are amongst them. You can’t get rich working in a 9-5 job! It’s not happening!
45. People don’t want to buy a drill. They want a hole.
– Theodore Levitt
Explanation: Let people know how the product can solve their problem and where it can be useful in their lives.
46. Prospecting – find the man with problem.
– Ben Friedman
47. Humor can give you the edge you are looking for. When you employ humor, you create a friendly, relaxed buying atmosphere.
– Jeffrey Gitomer
Explanation: No matter what the business model or industry is, humor is a clear winner. Humor is what attracts customers and generates revenue.
48. It’s not what you sell, it’s how you sell it.
– Dharmesh Shah
Explanation: It’s about the way you are selling something and not about the product. You can even sell crap if you know how that’s done.
49. Stop looking at the dollar bills like you’ve never seen them before. It’s an awakard and funny thing every salesperson does.
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
50. When people ask, “What do you do?” Answer “Whatever it takes”
Bonus: They always believe what their friends tell them. So, do pay attention on referrals when working in sales.
– Shivansh Bhanwariya
In Conclusion
Well, this was my post where I shared the top funny sales quotes that both beginners and experts should read to make their lives and journeys easier/better.
I hope you found this one helpful. In case you have something else to add, please use the comments section below.
